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FOCUS-SEPTEMBER201139OnthemorningofSeptember112001Iopenedmyfrontdoortowel-comeayoungmotherintoourTorontohome.ShebroughtherbabyandIhadmythreeyoungonesalreadyatplayonourfamilyroom-oor.Wehadbarelypouredourteawhenthephonerang.ItwasmyhusbandBrentcallingfromthedowntownchurchwhereheworkedtotellmethatsomethinghorriblewashappeninginNewYorkCity.IturnedontheTVasBrentendedourcall.MynewfriendandIneverdidgetachancetovisit.WesathorriedandtransxedaswewatchedthenowinfamousimagesplayedoutontheTV.Webarelyspoke.LaterIwatchedoureldestsoncreateastackoflegoblocksashighashecouldmakeitandthenplowitdownwithatoyairplane.Ifeltbadlythathisyoungworldnowincludedasceneofhorror.TwoyearsagoourfamilypiledintoourvanandspentthedaysbetweenChristmasandNewYearx19sinNewYorkCity.OntheafternoonofNewYearx19sEvewemadeourwaytox18GroundZerox19.WereadsomeofthetributesincludingaChristmastreedecoratedwithphotosandpoemstoliveslost.Hawkerssoldcommemorativebooks.Commutersstreamedbyus.Itwasgreyandcold.Surreal.Andimpos-sibletobelievethatsuchhorrorhadplayedoutinthespotwestoodintheheartofacitythatdidseemtoencompassallthepossibilitiesintheworldincludingIsupposetheworstyoucouldimagine.KARENSTILLERREMEMBERSinScugogtheyfellinlovewiththetownanditwasnx19tlongbeforetheypur-chasedahouseandmovedintoPortPerry.BeforemeetingherhusbandPamsaysshewascareerdrivenandarathersuperx1cialperson.x1cIhadprettymuchgivenuponthechanceofhavingchil-drenandknewIwouldneverleaveNewYork.x1dThatwastenyearsagoandtodaysheadmitsitwasthatonedayinSep-tember2001thatchangedherlifeforever.Shenowhastwoyoungboysabeau-tifulhomesupportivehusbandandmoregenuinefriendsthanshecouldhaveeveranticipated.x1cIappreciatelifemuchmoreandfeelIx19makinderpersonx1dshesays.ButdespitehernewlifefarawayfromtheglitzandglamourofNewYorkCityx13thecityshecalledhomeforsolongx13theimpactandmemoriesofthatdaystillhauntherfromtimetotime.Correspondingwithafriendlastyearthex1rsttimeshehadopenlyex-pressedherthoughtssincetheattacksshewroteabouthowshehadbeenchangedforever.Shesaysx1clittlethingsx1dthatsheneverthoughtofbeforenowbringtearstohereyesandx0oodherbrainwithunforgettableimages.Shecrieswhenshehearsbagpipesnomatterwheresheisx13amemoryofthehauntinglysadsoundofthebagpipesbeingplayedthenumerousfuneralssheattended.x1cTheybagpiperswereeverywherex1dsherecalls.Andasunlikelyasitmayseemx13carnationsredx1retrucksandbrightclearskiesallbringbacksimilarfeelingsandmemories.Confettiisyetanotherreminder.Anyonewhowitnessedthetowerscol-lapsingontelevisioncouldnotforgetthesceneofthousandsofpiecesofpaperx0oatingtoearthlikeconfetti.Itx19sascenePamcanx19tshakefromhermemoryeither.x1cManyofusstillgetscaredbyitx13shreddedpaperwaseverywheredowntownx1dsherecalled.Thistraumaticexperiencemayhavescarredherbutshex19sthankfulforthechangesitmadeinherlife.Tenyearsagoshesayssheprobablywouldhavetalkedthroughthenationalanthemavoidedchurchandjustlivedforthenextbigparty.x1cIwastooyoungtounderstandaboutVietnamwhenIwasgrowingupandpatriotismwasjustaword.x1dTodayIcanx19tgetthroughthenationalanthembothAmericanandCana-dianwithouttearingup.Ineverthoughtaboutitbefore.HeckIevengetweteyeswhenIseethosesweetoldmenhandingoutpoppiesatthegrocerystorex1dsheadmits.Overthepastcoupleofyearswhenanyonehasaskedherifshewillbeattendingaspecialserviceorplanningtoseeax1lmabout911shesimplyansweredx1cnox1dandforgoodreason.Pamsaystheanswermayseemtocomeacrossasifshex19sforgottenbutthatx19snotthecaseatall.x1cItx19sjuststilltoopain-fulx1dsheadmits.Despiteherreluctancetoletthatdaycontrolherlifetherex19slittledoubtwhenthetenthanniversaryoftheterroristattacksonNewYorkarrivesx13thecityinwhichshegrewupworkedandlivedx13therewillbeapaininherheartandatearinhereye.Inherwordstoagoodfriend-x1cwecanneverforget.x1dByJ.PeterHvidstenFocusonScugogx1cTodayIcanx19tgetthroughthenationalanthemAmericanorCanadianwithouttearingupx13Ineverreallythoughtaboutitbefore.x1d...PamHollett