b'make the situation more bearable for all involved.Dying in real life is not like on TV, she commented. It can be a long process. And sometimes it is not pretty. It is helpful for the family to know the steps and what to expect at di erent stages of dying. The people who are left behind may also need support after.To continue to be of assistance to a family who has Death Doula, Kelly Lyon lost a loved one, Kelly took The Angel Ladies Pastoral Chaplain program so she can ociate at funeral services.Kelly recognizes the great need for the new hospice in Port Perry, but she pointed out that sometimes there are never enough palliative care beds, and thats where the Support and TLCservices of a death doula can be the answer. Like a birth doula, a death doula doesnt do it for the for Clients and their Grieving Families money. We do it for the love, Kelly said. Her email ad-dress is loveliveson@mail.com because, Kelly pointed out, love never dies. You may also contact her at 905-914-6863.This story idea came to us from Kellys son Travis Fortnum, who is very proud of his mothers accom-Traditionally, when we think of doulas, we think of peopleplishments. Kelly originally raised her boys, Travis and who are trained to help with the process of birthing a baby.Alex, in Blackstock, and then they moved into Port Perry. Now there are also death doulas, which provide support toFor many years, she was a single mom. Travis pointed out their dying client, and their entire family.that in recent history, his mom became an empty nester and her dear mother died, but there was a silver lining: Her motivation to help others. Last October, Kelly Lyon of Portindividual clients. For something good to come out of it, thats PerrytookanintensiveweeklongKellys priority will always be herincredible, he feels.course to earn her certi cation as aclient, the person who is in the pro- By Lynn Campbell, Focus on Scugogdeath doula. She was inspired to pur- cess of dying. Its important to have sue this path to help other people aftera checklist of her clients wishes, and the loss of her dear mother Marleneshare them with the family, who may who passed away in February of 2018overlook such details due to the stress at the age of 86.of the situation. This also avoids the Iwastherewithherwhensheproblem of making expensive emo-passed away, Kelly recalled. And ittional decisions, she added.This story idea came to us fromwas not an unhappy time. I wantedHere are some checklist examples: Kellys son Travis Fortnum,her to be surrounded by all the loveWouldtheclientprefertodieat who is very proud of his mothersthat she had in her life, and to experi- home? What preferences are there for accomplishments. ence that love in death as well. Shefuneralarrangements?Whatwould Kelly originally raised her boys,was the best mom in the world. they like to wear, or take into the cas-Travis and Alex, in Blackstock,Kelly googled death doulas andket? Cremation? Celebration of Life?found out that a course was o eredHopefully all of these important and then they moved into Port Perry.through Douglas College in Britishdecisions can be made while the client For many years, she was aColumbia.Luckily,ateacherwasis cognitive, Kelly noted. My job is single mom.travelling around Canada, so Kellyto make sure that the clients wishes Travis pointed out that in recentdidnt have to go that far for train- are followed. First and foremost, their history, his mom became an emptying.Itwasthebest$1000Ieverneeds must be met.nester and her dear mother died, butspent, Kelly commented. She usedA death doula can make sure that there was a silver lining:her vacation time to study to be apreferences and decisions are known, Her motivation to help others.death doula. to make life easier for the family. She For something good to come out of it,Anaturallycompassionateper- can also coach and counsel relatives son, Kelly has worked for Lakeridgethroughthemourningprocess.She thats incredible, he feels. Health Port Perry for many years, ascan stay at the hospital with the client a Unit Clerk. while the family goes home to have a As a death doula, she can work ingood meal, a shower and a sleep. She a hospital setting if certain rules andcan camp out on the lazy boy chair procedures are followed, or she canbeside the clients bedside at home, help people right in their own homes.for days, if required. Basically, a death Responsibilitiesvaryaccordingtodoula can do whatever is needed to 42 FOCUS - APRIL 2020'